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JAKE & BOB

MYSTICAL MERCENARIES

"NIGHT OF INSANITY"

By

Brian Uhe


(CHAPTER 1)


The story begins in outer space. Light-years from earth. Two planets, which will soon hold life no more, will collide with each other. Closer and closer they come. Energy binds between the two are created, because of the closeness of the atmospheres. The planets collide and an explosion so great releases a great amount of energy, which opens a portal. A red energy ball shoots out of the portal and then shifts into hyperspace.


(TWO DAYS LATER) A small redneck town in a swamp in Florida, Three humans are running from a group of armed demon possessed humans. One of the humans is shot through the chest. He falls to the ground and after a few moments he gets up, as a demon possessed human. He joins the other demons in the hunt. The others keep running, but the woman loses her balance when she hits a garbage can.


HUMAN #1 (loud):

SARA!!


HUMAN #2:

WE CAN'T HELP HER! IT'S TOO LATE! RUN!


Sara tries to get up before the demons catch up, but is too late! She's shot dead and in seconds rises up as a demon possessed human! The two remaining living humans keep on running from their "growing in numbers" predetors! Suddenly, a demon come from nowhere from above and tackles human #1 to the ground and stabs him to death with a knife!


HUMAN #2 (thought balloon):

THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! PLEASE LET THIS BE A NIGHTMARE THAT I CAN WAKE UP FROM!


The last survivor, human #2, runs into a dark alley! He hopes he can lose the demons, but that hope diminishes when he meets a dead-end!


HUMAN #2 (scared):

NO!! (thought balloon): PLEASE, GOD! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!


(OUTER SPACE/ EARTH) The red energy ball is starting to fall onto the earth.


(BACK ON EARTH) The demons find the living human and aim their guns at him!



ONE OF THE DEMONS:

PREPARE TO BECOME A HOST FOR THE EVIL DEAD, FLESH BAG!


Before they pull the trigger! A red energy ball hits the living human, but instead of destroying him and everything nearby! The red energy merges with the human, which results in a transformation!


HUMAN #2 (loud):

WHAT’S!? . . . .WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME!?


Red energy comes out of his mouth and eyes! His size and muscle mass gets bigger, his skin turns gray, the four fingers merge into two fingers, and what looks like a blade from a big ax grows out of the fore head! The transformation is complete and the human (PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY) is no more! What stands before the demons is the being know in old times as “Ultimate Mayhem.” Instead of being filled with fear, the demons are angry for having their “prey” stolen from them!


ONE OF THE DEMONS:

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH OUR PREY?


Ultimate Mayhem is quiet for a moment, then he speaks.


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

AWAY, DARK THING. I HUNT FOR THE ETERNAL LIVING. NOT DEAD AND ROTTING FLESH.


The angry demons aim their weapons at Ultimate Mayhem and fire! Expecting the bullets to penetrate his flesh! They instead bounce off! Mayhem’s red eyes glow to show his anger!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

FINE! . . . .PREPARE TO GET DEADER!


The face cover expands like a balloon, but instead of air inside it. It is filled with red energy! The face cover expands more and more until it cannot hold anymore.! A red energy ball shoots out and heads for the shocked demons!


(NEW SCENE, THE SWAMP IN FLORIDA, FAR AWAY.) A red explosion is shown! An explosion so powerful, that it tears down most of the buildings nearby!


(NEW SCENE, CHICAGO IL.) Zombies are walking around the streets. At first, everything is peaceful, except from the moanings of the zombies. But suddenly, a burst of orange energy arcane blows one of the zombies into pieces! A shiny sphere rolls toward some zombies! When it hits one of them, An explosion occurs! Rest of the zombies is taken care of. A small creature called Jake appears with his mystical photon gun, which has steam coming out of its outlet, because it’s been fired.



JAKE (sneaky face):

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!


Bob appears with an ax on one hand and the heads of the zombies on the other. He puts the ax in his backpack. A blue glow comes forth when the backpack is opened, because inside it is a pocket dimension.


JAKE:

IS THAT IT?


BOB:

THIS IS IT!


JAKE:

LET’S GO TO "THE HUT" AND GET OUR BOUNTY.


(NEW SCENE, OUTPOST) A place of illegal activity, but a place of a certain business. People who are holding heads of zombies are standing in line in front of a building with a sign saying "The Hut". For each head they receive payment. One of them, whose name is Earl. Has a big sack full of zombies’ heads. He is known as the best zombie hunter in this area. He is now next in line. He puts the sack on the counter. The man behind the counter looks inside the sack and begins to count.


MAN BEHIND COUNTER:

MAN, EARL. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU BROKE YOUR PERSONAL RECORD.


EARL:

YOU KNOW ME. I’M ALWAYS WILLING TO IMPROVE.


The man behind the counter brings his head closer to Earl.


MAN BEHIND THE COUNTER:

WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?


EARL:

A SECRET. . . . AND YOU REALLY NEED TO USE SOME MOUTHWASH, MAN.


The man behind the counter pays Earl for the heads. Earl takes his money and leaves the building. One of the people in line looks at Earl with angry eyes. This person hates the hard life and hates Earl for being luckier then most even more. A friend next to him knows what the look on his face means.


FRIEND:

I HOPE YOU'RE NOT PLANING TO DO SOMETHING STUPID AGAIN. I'M IN NO MOOD TO END UP IN JAIL FOR THE 12TH TIME.



ANGRY MAN:

THIS EARL GUY HAS SOMETHING UP HIS SLEEVE, AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING A PATHITIC LOSER WHO ISN'T GETTING ANYWHERE! WHILE I'M AT IT, I MIND AS WELL MAKE A "PROFIT" OUT OF THIS. LIKE WHAT HE'S CARRYING!


The angry man looks at the money that Earl is carrying.


FRIEND:

WELL, YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT THIS TIME.


ANGRY MAN:

FINE, THEN IT'LL BE ALL MINE TO KEEP!


The angry man leaves the line and follows Earl. His plan is to wait until Earl is in a place where there are no “witnesses” around and mug him. A smile is on his face when he sees Earl walking into an alleyway.


ANGRY MAN (thought balloon):

EXCELLENT! THE PERFECT PLACE WHERE THERE'LL BE NO WITNESSES!


The man enters the alleyway and expects to see Earl. Instead of that he sees Jake and Bob. Jake is holding a mask that looks like Earl. He has his ears tied down so he could wear the mask. Bob is on stilts and is in the process of taking the suit he is wearing off. This suit looks like Earl’s body. On the ground next to him is what you would probably call “arm stilts. Jake looks at the guy with a face that says “ he’s irritated.”


JAKE:

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?


The man runs out of the alleyway screaming!


ANGRY MAN (thought balloon):

MONSTERS! I GOT TO TELL THE OTHERS ABOUT EARL, BEFORE HE. . . ."IT". . . . KILLS US ALL!


(NEW SCENE, A BAR SEVERAL BLOCKS AWAY.) Messy, but still in business. Jake and Bob are heading towards there. They stop to look at a poster on the wall which is new in this area. It says “S.N.K. SUPERNATURAL KILLERS: THERE OUT THERE!” (NOTE: THEY MEAN BEINGS OF SUPERNATURAL ORGIN.)


BOB:

LOOKS LIKE THE HATE-LOVING SICKOS HAVE MORE COMPETITION.


Someone watches Jake and Bob enter the bar. He gets out his cellar phone and makes a call.


WATCHER:

GENERAL FRANK STRANN? I SPOTTED THEM. . . . THEY'RE ENTERING A BAR IN DOWNTOWN CALLED ERIC'S PLACE. . . . I UNDERSTAND, SIR. OBSERVE, NO ACTION. WANE OUT.


(INSIDE THE BAR.) There are people at the pool table that look like bikers. They're all laughing and talking, but that stops when Jake and Bob enter. They ignore them and head for the bar. Jake climbs up a seat, because he's small, and sits. Bob is about to, but something comes up.


BOB:

UH, JAKE? I GOTTA DEPART SOME OF MY BEING WITH THE WHIRLPOOL OF NO RETURN.


JAKE:

THAT'S REALLY SICK, BOB!


Bob goes to the boy’s rest room. Behind Jake are two men who are talking.


MAN #1:

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT A PRIEST IN A SMALL TOWN CALLED WINCHESTER? RUMORS SAY THAT HE AND HIS FOLLOWERS HUNT DOWN AND BURN PEOPLE THAT THEY ACCUSE OF BEING WITCHES!


MAN #2:

HM! MAN, WE’RE LIVING IN A WORLD WHICH IS SICKER THEN WHAT THEM COMIC BOOK DUDES CAN THINK UP.

Next to Jake is an old “human” friend named Eric who owns this bar. The bartender hands Jake a beer.


ERIC:

HELLO, JAKE. HEARD SOME EXCITING NEWS FROM THE BOUNTY HOUSE.


JAKE:

SOME IDIOT FOLLOWED US AND SAW US TAKE OFF OUR DISGUISE.


ERIC

WELL, I’LL BET THAT MOST OF GUYS WILL THINK THAT THE GUY IS TRYING TO MAKE “EARL” LOOK BAD, BECAUSE “EARL” IS GETTING THE MOST OUT OF THIS ZOMBIE HEAD BUSINESS. . . . OR PERHAPS THEY'LL THINK HE WAS "HIGH". THAT'S USUALLY THE FIRST THING THAT COMES IN MIND.




JAKE

WELL THAT’S SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT LATER, BUT RIGHT NOW, BOB AND I, ARE GOING FOR THE BIG SCORE! ONE OF THE ZOMBIE VOODOO PRIESTS!


(NEW SCENE/ BATHROOM) Bob is looking under the toilet doors to find one that is unoccupied.


BOB (thought balloon)

NO. (next one) NO. (next one, shocked) GOD, NO!!


(BACK TO THE BAR SCENE.)


ERIC

AN UNDEAD VOODOO PRIEST? WHOA, JAKE! THOSE GUYS ARE A HUNDRED TIMES HARDER TO KILL THEN THE NORMAL ZOMBIE!


JAKE

YEAH, BUT IT WOULD BE WORTH IT! YOU COULDN’T BELIEVE THE BOUNTY FOR THEIR HEADS! BOB AND I COULD RETIRE FOR HALF A CENTURY!


ERIC

YEAH, BUT THOSE BASTARDS ARE KEEPING A LOW PROFILE. THERE’S RUMORS THAT THE MILITARY HAS A SECRET WEAPON THAT CAN DESTROY THEM.


JAKE

A GOOD REASON TO HURRY AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO FIND ONE OF THEM THEN TO START AT THE VERY PLACE WHERE THE LITTLE CREEPS FIRST RESURRECTED.


ERIC

WELL. . . . BE CAREFUL, LITTLE BUDDY, BECAUSE YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT MANY PEOPLE DON'T LIKE YOUR KIND AND ARE WILLING TO END YOU'RE EXISTENCE. DID YOU SEE THE POSTERS?


JAKE

YEAH, THEY PROBABLY BLAME US FOR THE CORPORATION SCANDALS THAT'S GOING ON, AS WELL AS OTHER BAD THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING.


ERIC

SADLY, IT'S EASIER TO BLAME OTHERS, THEN TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. TO HATE, THEN TO RESPECT, AS WELL AS TO LIE TO YOURSELF, THEN TO FACE THE TRUTH. I SOMETIMES THINK THAT LIFE IS A TEST AND SO FAR WE BEEN FAILING FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS.


JAKE (mouth full of beer nuts)

YEAUH. TESST SMUCK, MUN.


ERIC

WHAT?


On the TV is a sitcom, which has a cast of bad actors. One of the guys, who is playing pool, looks at it with disgust.


GUY #1

CHANGE THAT, WILL YOU?! THERE’S SURELY SOMETHING BETTER TO WATCH THEN THAT!


The bartender changes to a channel that is showing a baseball game.


GUY #2

SHAME, REALLY. I USED TO LOVE THAT SHOW WHEN THEY HAD A CAST WHICH WAS TALENTED.


GUY #1

WHY DID THEY GET RID OF THE ORIGINAL CAST?


GUY #2

THE SAME REASON THAT ALL TV PRODUCERS KICKS SOMEONE OUT. THEY DEMANDED MORE MONEY.

The two guys laugh. Suddenly! A bunch of zombies comes through the windows!


ZOMBIES (loud)

RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGH!


Jake looks back, but is still holding his beer.


JAKE

WHA?!. . . . HEY! YOU’RE NOT ALIVE ENOUGH TO BE ALLOWED IN HERE!


Inside the boy’s rest room, Bob is going “potty” behind a close door. There are sounds of crashing noises and screaming from outside the restroom.


BOB (singing)

RUBBER DUCKY, YOU’RE THE ONE!


(AN HOUR AFTER) A disappointed Bob exits Eric's bar from the side entrance that goes to an alley.



BOB (sad)

MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I WAS SITTING IN THE CAN WHILE THERE WAS A FIGHT GOING ON.


Suddenly, Bob notices a blond woman dressed as a punk rocker is coming towards him.


FANG:

HEY, YOU. ROUND GUY.


BOB (slightly confused):

UM, YEAH?


FANG:

AT THE BAR, I OVERHEARD AN OLD GUY TALKING TO YOUR BIG EARED FRIEND "JACK"?


BOB:

JAKE, ACUALLY.


FANG:

WELL, AS I WAS SAYING, I OVERHEARD THEM TALKING ABOUT YOU TWO LITTLE GUYS GOING AFTER A ZOMBIE HIGH PRIEST, AND AS A COLLECTOR OF THE OCCULT, I GOT THIS MAP THAT WILL NOT ONLY TELL YOU WHERE THEY ARE IN THE STATES, BUT THE PLACES THAT THEY HANG OUT. YOU CAN HAVE IT, FOR A PRICE OF COARSE.


BOB (suspicious):

OF COARSE.


FANG:

COME ON! IT'S EITHER THIS, OR GOING THROUGH THE HARD LABOR OF GETTING INFO FROM PEOPLE WHO WOULD PROBABLY WOULDN'T GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY.


BOB:

WELL, YEAH, YOU DO HAVE A POINT THERE. THE PEOPLE THERE WOULD PROBABLY BE TOO AFRAID OF THE ZOMBIE PRIESTS TO SAY ANYTHING.

Fangs puts her hand on Bob's head and leads him to somewhere.


FANG:

MY PLACE IS NEAR BY. YOU CAN TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THE MERCHANDISE, THEN WE CAN GET TO THE TRANSACTION PART.



(END OF ISSUE #1)

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(GO DOWN TO ISSUE #2)

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(CHAPTER 2)


It starts in an alleyway in Chicago. In it is a small somewhat wrecked house. (YOU WOULD THINK IT WAS A CHILD’S PLAYHOUSE.) Inside the house is a pocket dimension where Jake and Bob’s home is. Jake is talking to someone on a cordless phone with someone.


JAKE (on the phone):

COME ON, SIMON! I'M TALKING BIG MONEY HERE!


(NEW SCENE) A crummy-looking and abandon-looking building is shown. The inside of the building is really nice looking. There's a waiting room where mercenaries are looking for work and a secretary, sitting at her desk, filing her nails. In the office is a black man with glasses on and dressed in a business suit is talking to Jake with his speaker phone, while sitting at his desk.


SIMON (upset):

FORGET IT, JAKE! IT'S INSANE! THOSE GUYS ARE DANGEROUS, AND IF THEY FOUND OUT THAT I WAS INVOLVED IN THIS, THEN I'M SURELY GOING TO END UP DEAD! THOSE UNDEAD BOSSES ARE "SERIOUS" WHEN IT COME TO REVENGE! LIKE THE SLOW AND PAINFUL KIND!!


JAKE (from the speaker phone):

SIMON, SIMON, SIMON. THIS IS JAKE YOU'RE TALKING TO! WHY THE TREMBLES?


SIMON (upset):

THAT'S WHY I'M SAYING NO! IT'S ONE OF MY MOST IMPORTANT BUSINESS RULES! "WHEN IT'S INSANE, THEN SAY NO TO JAKE!"


(BACK AT THE TEMPLE) Jake is still talking to Simon.


JAKE (on the phone):

LISTEN. INSTEAD OF THE USUAL 10 PERCENT CUT, HOW ABOUT 15?


SIMON (from the cordless phone):

MAKE IT 20, AND A PROMISE THAT YOU WON'T MENTION MY NAME IF YOU'RE CAPTURED AND TORTURED. I'M TALKING ABOUT PRETENDING THAT I DON'T EXIST.


JAKE (on the phone):

SURE, SIMON. SURE. WE'LL PROBABLY MAKE SO MUCH MONEY FROM THE BOUNTY, THAT WE MAY END UP USING SOME OF THE DOUGH AS TOILET PAPER.


(IN SIMON'S OFFICE) Simon turns off the speaker phone.


SIMON

YOU BETTER BE SURE! THERE'S NO WAY IN THE WORLD THAT I WOULD WANT TO END MY LIFE IN SUCH AN UNPLEASANT WAY!


Simon takes a sip of his coffee. Suddenly, a blonde, and white, woman enters the room.


JULIE

FROM THE WAY THAT PHONE CALL SOUNDED, IT MUST'VE BEEN REALLY SERIOUS.


Simon coughs up his coffee!


SIMON

"COUGH!" SIS?! WHAT ARE YOU…?!


The upset Simon pushes a button on his speaker.


SIMON (talking into the speaker.)

MISS RASPBERRY! I TOLD YOU THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO BE DISTURBED! WHAT EXACTLY AM I PAYING YOU TO DO HERE?


MISS RASPBERRY (from the speaker.)

HMM. WHATEVER IT IS, I GUESS YOU'RE NOT PAYING ME ENOUGH TO DO IT, BOSS.


Julie gives off a small laugh.


SIMON (angry, low tone)

ER! IF IT WASN'T SO HARD TO GET SOMEONE TO WORK HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I'D FIRED HER FASTER THEN A SPEEDING BULLET!


Simon now looks at his sister with upset eyes and is quiet for a moment.


SIMON

NO, JULIE.


JULIE

OH, COME ON! I KNOW THAT NOT ALL OF YOUR CLIENTS ARE WHAT PEOPLE WOULD CONSIDER "NORMAL"! AS A REPORTER, THIS COULD BE THE BIG BREAK I NEED TO MAKE IT BIG FOR A MORE RESPECTABLE NEWSPAPER!… INSTEAD OF WORKING FOR THAT TABLOID "BEYOND THE NATURAL"!





SIMON (talking business like)

ACCORDING TO THE CONTRACT THAT EACH CLIENT HAS SIGNED, ALL PERSONAL INFORMATION IS PRIVATE FOR ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, EXCEPT WHEN THEY ARE BEING INVESTIGATED FOR A CRIME THAT THEY'RE BEING ACCUSED OF BY LEGAL AUTHORITIES.


Julie points back to the door that goes to the waiting room with her thumb.


JULIE

I'M BETTING THAT 99.9% OF THEM HAVE A RAP SHEET OR TWO, SIMON. COULDN'T YOU JUST BEND THE RULES? JUST ONCE? FOR ME?


Simon gives her the kind of look that tells her that the answer is "no".


JULIE (upset)

FINE. BUT THIS DOESN'T END HERE. MY SOURCES SAY THAT THERE ARE RUMORS ABOUT WEIRD-LOOKING CREATURES THAT ARE COMING HERE AND YOU CAN BET I'LL BE WATCHING THIS PLACE LIKE A HAWK!


Julie leaves her brother's office. Simon is quiet for a moment.


SIMON (mocking his sister)

YOU CAN BET I'LL BE WATCHING THIS PLACE LIKE A HAWK! (pushes a button on his speaker and speaks to it) MISS RASPBERRY, COULD YOU BRING ME ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE? "IF" YOU CAN THAT IS! THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS "OVERWORK" YOU!


(NEW SCENE, JAKE AND BOB'S HOME) Bob is in his room and on his bed. He is daydreaming about the past. First, he sees his home of long ago, (IT’S A FOREST THAT LOOKS LIKE THE ONE IN THE (1985) MOVIE “LEGEND”.) Second, he sees the house of his Uncle Ed’s, Third, he sees his Uncle Ed.


UNCLE ED:

YOU MUST LEAVE OR THE PROPHECY WILL COME TRUE. BRINGING FORTH THE END OF THE KIEROE RACE.


And last, a door that looks like a cellar door. In truth, this is a portable gateway to other dimensions. Bob gets off his bed and leaves his room. He walks down on the slightly curved stairway, which is next to the water fountain and heads for the display case. Inside the display case, and next to it, are a collection of their long past. Bob thinks back of those times.



IMAGINARY VOICE FROM THE SWORD (loud):

TO ARMS, MY FELLOW KNIGHTS!!!


A sound of imaginary cheering is heard.


IMAGINARY VOICE FROM THE OLD WEST SIX SHOOTERS:

ONLY ONE OF US WILL COME OUT OF THIS ALIVE!


A sound of imaginary gun-fire is heard.


IMAGINARY VOICE FROM THE WW2 BAZOOKA:

HERE'S ONE FROM THE US OF A, YA NAZI PIGS!


A sound of an imaginary bazooka being fired and an explosion is heard.


IMAGINARY VOICE FROM THE GUITAR THAT WAS SIGN BY ELVIS:

THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!


Suddenly.


JAKE (loud/not seen):

BOB, YOU BIO-GASER! YOU FORGOT TO FLUSH!


A flush is heard. Jake appears from atop of the stairs.


JAKE:

YOU READY?


Bob goes to his bedroom and puts on his backpack. He quickly heads back down.

BOB:

LET’S ROLL!


They are now outside of the small house. Bob reaches into the backpack and gets out a "Harley" motorbike, built for their size, with a cart attached to it. (THE SOMEWHAT MASSIVE WHEEL FROM THE CART HAS THE WORD "AWESOME YEAR" ON IT.) He then gets out helmets and throws one to Jake who catches it. Bob gets on the motorbike and Jake gets on the cart. They begin their way to Long Branch, New Jersey. They're being watch by the same man who saw them enter Eric's bar. He gets out his cell phone.


WATCHER (talking into cell phone):

WE HAVE A PROBLEM, SIR. THEY SEEM TO BE LEAVING CHICAGO.


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (angry, from the cell phone):

BLAST! OUR BEST HOPE IS THAT THEY'RE HEADING FOR AN AREA WHERE WE HAVE A BRANCH. FOLLOW THEM AND REPORT THEIR DESTINATION.


(NEW SCENE) Ultimate Mayhem has just gotten out of Florida. He's using the highway as a guide. He stops, because for some reason he knows that his targets will soon leave Chicago.


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

$#&#! (thought balloon) YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY FROM ME! NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DONE, YOU LITTLE $#&#$!


Ultimate Mayhem notices headlights coming towards him. They belong to a trailer.


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (thought balloon):

WELL, WELL, WELL. A CHARIOT HAS NO HORSES TO PULL IT. THEY HAVE THE KIND OF MAGIC THAT HASN'T BEEN KNOWN IN MY TIME.


Ultimate Mayhem gets in front of the trailer, because he has a use for it. The driver has a need for sleep.


DRIVER (thought balloon):

MAN, DO I NEED SOME SHUT-EYE. YAWN! BUT I GOT TO GET THIS CARGO DELIVERED IN TIME OR THAT LOUDMOUTH BOSS OF MINE IS GOING TO YELL AT ME FOR HOURS. AS WELL AS TAKING IT OUT OF MY PAY. WHICH WILL SURELY GET MY WIFE YELLING!


The driver doesn’t see Mayhem until it’s too late. Normally, Mayhem could stop on the spot, but that would damage the trailer. So he carefully slows it down to a stop. This of coarse surprises the driver. The driver gets out of his truck and uses a flashlight to see what was it that he hit.


DRIVER:

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!


The driver keeps looking.


DRIVER:

OH, GOD! PLEASE LET BE AN ANIMAL! (yells out) IS ANYONE THERE?


Suddenly, Ultimate Mayhem appears! The driver is shocked again!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

HI! MINE IF I BORROW YOUR CHARIOT?!


DRIVER (scared and confused):

MY WHA. . . .!?


Ultimate Mayhem grabs him and the driver struggles to get free! Ultimate Mayhem then throws him like he was weightless!



ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

FLY BIRDIE!!


The driver lands on the ground several miles away! The impact kills him! Mayhem studies the trailer. As if by a 6th sense, he knows how to run it. But first, he tears off the roof so that he can fit in. He drives away laughing and honking the horn as if he was a kid with a new toy.


(NEW SCENE, CLEVELAND) Jake and Bob are on the highway and still heading for their destination. Without their knowledge, they are being watch by someone through magic. Magic which has been summoned by the vampire witch (Who is wearing a cloak and hood.) called Zarean. By looking at the expression of her face, you can tell that her “craving” hasn’t been this great for so long. A blonde vampire woman named “Fang” enters the room to report to her sitting on the floor and meditating master.


ZAREAN:

DID YOU GIVE THE “CHUBBY ONE” THE MAP?


FANG:

YES, THEY HAVE IT IN THEIR POSSESSION AND IT SHOULD MISLEAD THEM FROM THEIR PLANNED DESTINATION. (thought balloon) NOT TO MENTION THAT I JUST SUCKERED THAT "CHUBBY ONE" FOR A LOT OF MONEY!


Fang pauses for a moment.


FANG (thought balloon):

BLOODY WASTE OF TIME IF YOU ASK ME.


Zarean turns her head to look at Fang, because she can read Fang’s mind. At first, Fang thinks Zarean will punish her for thinking that, but instead. . . . . Zarean turns her head back.


ZAREAN:

WITHIN THEIR VEINS, IS PERHAPS THE CURE FOR VAMPIRISM. (She licks her lips.) IN TIMES OF OLD, THEIR BLOOD USED TO BE CALLED “THE ELIXIR OF LIFE”! BY DRINKING IT, I’LL BE EVER CLOSER TO IMMEASURABLE POWER. FOR “LIFE” IS THE ULTIMATE FOCUS POINT. . . . BUT A VAMPIRE HAS NO LIFE. AND WITHOUT IT, THE ABILITY TO FOCUS THE MOST POWERFUL FORCES OF MAGIC IS GREATLY LIMITED.


Next to Zarean is a jar filled with a glowing blue alchemy fluid. She puts her hand on it.


ZAREAN:

LEAVE ME NOW. I WISH TO MEDITATE ON THE NEXT PHASE OF THE PLAN.


Before Fang leaves the room.


ZAREAN:

BE SURE TO CALL THE MEMBERS OF OUR GUILD, THE ONES IN NEW YORK, TO MAKE THAT THE ARRANGEMENTS I HAVE INSTRUCTED HAVE BEEN MADE.


FANG:

AS YOU COMMAND.


Fang leaves the room and goes downstairs where she meets with other vampires. Some of them don't look happy.


VAMPIRE #1:

WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? WE SHOULD BE OUT HUNTING FOR MORTALS' BLOOD, INSTEAD OF THIS HOCUS POCUS CRAP!


FANG:

BECAUSE, SHE'S OUR BLOOD MOTHER. MEANING WE DO AS WE'RE TOLD.



VAMPIRE #2:

UNTIL SHE BECOMES ALIVE AGAIN. A WEAK POWERLESS MORTAL WHO'S PURPOSE WILL BE TO SATISFY OUR THIRST.


FANG:

YOU FORGET. SHE'S ALSO A POWERFUL SORCERESS, AND ONCE SHE GETS HER LIFE-FORCE BACK, SHE'LL BE EVEN MORE POWERFUL AFTER COMPLETING THE RITUAL THAT SHE STARTED LONG AGO. POWERFUL ENOUGH TO DESTROY US WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. SO BEHAVE YOURSELVES.


VAMPIRE #3:

I THINK WE SHOULD GO UP THERE AND DEMAND SHE FORGET THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE OR EL. . . UGH!. . . .EL!


Vampire #3 starts to have some type of seizure!


VAMPIRE #1 (confused):

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?


VAMPIRE #3 (in seizure and terrified):

AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!


Suddenly! Vampire #3's body starts to shrivel and turn gray as if his precious fluids were leaving him! He falls to the ground and never to rise up again! They all know it was Zarean's doing, but Fang is the only one who isn't surprised by this.


FANG:

CONSIDER THAT YOUR FIRST, AND ONLY, LESSON, FELLOW VAMPS. DON'T MESS WITH THE BOSS LADY, OR SHE'LL DO THE SAME THING TO YOU.


Fang kicks the corpse and the impact makes it burst into dust!


(NEW SCENE, ULTIMATE MAYHEM) As Ultimate Mayhem drives, he thinks back of his unholy life. (MEMORIES) he remembers of being born by woman’s wisdom and “sired” by man’s determination, as well as the “arrogance” which both can sometimes bring forth. Being one of perpetual reminders of nature’s rage, and that he was different from the rest, because his inner rage and insanity was too “pure” to be decided if he was good or evil. Because within good and evil "alone", there is good and evil and so on. Making him the “ultimate mayhem”, the enemy to all! In the dark ages, he was an unstoppable force, which no brave knight or army could stop him. Destruction was everywhere. None was spared. Then he recalls a memory which increases his rage. A memory of two small figures, who came from nowhere, which did what was once believed impossible. They destroyed him!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (thought balloon):

YOU’RE GOING TO DIE!. . . .IN A SLOW AND ULGY WAY!


(NEW SCENE) Jake is reading the map, while Bob drives on. Jake seems irritated.


JAKE (thought balloon):

STUPID PIECE OF $#%# OF A MAP!


Jake looks at the area around him, then looks at the map again.


JAKE (thought balloon):

STUPID PIECE OF $#%# OF A MAP!


JAKE:

$#&#! WE’RE LOST! (Jake looks at Bob.) AND YOU’RE AN “DING-DONGER” FOR GETTING THIS MAP! (Jake looks at the map again.) WHERE DID YOU GET THIS MAP?!



BOB:

SOME LADY SOLD IT TO ME FOR $500. SHE SAID SHE WAS A COLLECTOR OF THE OCCULT AND THE MAP WAS THE REAL THING.




JAKE:

THIS IS THE REASON WHY I WISH THAT THERE WEREN’T ANY SALEMEN IN CHICAGO! YOU'RE THEIR DREAM COME TRUE! THE "CHOSEN ONE" WHEN IT COMES TO BEING A SUCKER.


Jake sees a gas station.


JAKE:

PULL OVER AT THAT GAS STATION.


BOB:

WHY? THIS BIKE DOESN’T USE GAS.


JAKE:

JUST DO IT!


Bob pulls over. Jake takes off his helmet and gets out.


JAKE:

HAND ME A “KIDDIE” DISGUISE.


Bob reaches in his backpack and gets out a disguise for Jake. Jake ties down his ears so he can wear the mask. Jake looks at his disguise.


JAKE (irritated):

GEEZ, BOB! I LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE DWEEBS WHO THINKS “BARNEY” IS THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD!


BOB:

WHAT'S WRONG WITH BARNEY?


The disguised Jake looks at Bob for a second and then. . . .


JAKE (low tone):

YOU HAVE NO DIGNITY.


The disguised Jake walks pass the sitting Bob.


JAKE (low tone, doesn't look at bob):

REMIND ME TO SLAP YOU SILLY WHEN I GET BACK.


BOB (irritated, low tone):

NO.


The “disguised” Jake heads for the mini-mart, which has their lights on. He enters the shop thinking that things would be somewhat normal.


JAKE (acting like a little kid):

HELLO? ANYONE HERE? ME AND MY MOMMY ARE LOST AND WE NEED. . . .


Jake sees a pool of fresh blood on the floor. He hears something! A can of soda rolls right to him and stops when it reaches Jake's feet! A growl is heard!


JAKE (calmly annoyed, looking down at the can of soda):

AH, %#$@!


Jake quickly gets out his mystical photon gun, which rips open the back of his disguise! Suddenly! A werewolf comes from under the counter and others also appear!


JAKE (loud):

$#*#!


(OUTSIDE) Bob isn't aware of what's going on inside the mini-mart. He's becoming impatient.


BOB:

JUST BUY A MAP, MAN! "SIGH!"


(INSIDE) One of them knocks Jake’s gun off his hand!


JAKE (angry, deep voice):

YOU TOUCHED THE GUN!!!


With his kieroe strength, he hits the head of the werewolf so hard that blood comes out of the mouth and then rips off his disguise! Jake looks at his gun, which is on the other side of the store and “what” he has to go through to get it! One of the werewolves attacks him! He dodges by going between it’s legs and by using his kieroe agility, he gets through the others! He slides to his gun and grabs it! He quickly aims it at the werewolves!


JAKE (sneaky face):

BYE, BYE, FURBALLS!


(OUTSIDE) Bob is still impatiently waiting for Jake.


BOB:

COME ON, MAN! GET YOUR TAILED BUTT OVER HERE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!


Suddenly! The inside of the mini-mart explodes! Orange energy arcane goes thru the glass windows!


BOB (shocked):

OH, $#&#!!

The mini-mart is now a mess. Jake comes out. He coughs out smoke, but not in a dramatic way. Bob looks at him with an odd look.


BOB:

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO “SERVICE WITH A SMILE”?


Jake is already half way to the bike and has stopped. He turns around to look at the wrecked mini-mart, then he looks at Bob.


JAKE (coughs out smoke):

IT GOT BURNED DOWN WITH THE REST OF THE BUILDING, MAN.


Jake brings up his right hand that holds the can of soda that rolled right to him in the mini-mart.


JAKE (low tone):

SODA?


BOB (smiling):

OK.


One mile away, the watcher with the cell phone is standing next to his car and is watching the somewhat "dizzy" Jake walk towards the motor bike with a pair of binoculars. He also see Jake lose his balance and fall flat in his face, before he could hand Bob the can of soda. Bob looks down at the grounded Jake.


WATCHER (thought balloon):

FILTHY FREAKS! (takes out his cell phone) GENERAL STRANN, SIR. JUDGING FROM THE DIRECTION THAT THE TARGETS ARE HEADING, I BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE HEADING FOR NEW YORK CITY. YES, SIR. I'LL MEET YOU THERE.


(NEW SCENE, ULTIMATE MAYHEM) on the highway to his destination.


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (thought balloon):

DEAD, DEAD KIEROES!


(END OF ISSUE #2)

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(GO DOWN TO ISSUE #3)

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(ISSUE #3)


It begins in New York. Zarean, Fang, and 12 vampire servants are in an abandoned warehouse that is still standing. They meet with 15 more who were there already. The 16th vampire is just finishing spray painting the last window, so no sun-light will come through.


ZAREAN:

IS EVERYTHING READY?


NEW YORK VAMPIRE:

YES, BLOOD MOTHER. ALL IS READY AS YOU REQUESTED. WE HAVE ALSO PREPARED A ROOM FOR YOU TO MAKE YOUR OWN PREPARATIONS.


Zarean plans to go to the room, which is an office room, for privacy.


ZAREAN:

GOOD. I WISH NOT TO BE DISTURBED, UNLESS THE KIEROES DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES IT NECESSARY TO MODIFY MY PLANS. THEY CAN BE UNPREDICTABLE AT TIMES.


NEW YORK VAMPIRE (kneels his head):

AS YOU COMMAND.


When Zarean enters the office room. She put the jar filled with glowing blue alchemy fluid on the dusty desk. She then wraps her cloak around her and sits on the floor to meditate. She fights against the excitement of being close to a goal of long ago.



ZAREAN (thought balloon):

SO LONG HAS THE WAIT BEEN. NOW THE POWER THAT I HAVE THRIVED, EVEN BEFORE I BECAME A VAMPIRE, IS CLOSE AT HAND.


(MEMORIES SCENE) 5th century, Zarean is in a cave and she heads for a light. The light comes from a “camp fire” and sitting next to it is a cloaked man. The reason that Zarean has interest in this man is because he is a man who may have great power that she could perhaps use in her quest.


CLOAKED MAN:

GREETINGS, SARAH. PLEASE, COME CLOSER TO THE FIRE, SO WE MAY TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU SEEK, BUT MAY NEVER GAIN.


ZAREAN (shocked):

HOW IS IT THAT YOU KNOW OF MY BIRTH NAME?!




CLOAKED MAN:

PAST, PRESENT, OR FUTURE, NO KNOWLEDGE ESCAPES ME. FOR BANISHMENT FROM BOTH HEAVEN AND HELL WAS ONLY PART OF MY PUNISHMENT.


ZAREAN:

I HAVE HEARD OF YOU. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS CURSED TO POSSESS ALL KNOWLEDGE, NO MATTER HOW HORRIBLE AND LIVE FOREVER WITH IT, UNTIL ONE WITH NO LIFE KILLS YOU! YOU WHO HAD GIVEN UP HIS NAME “ZOSIMOS OF PANOPOLIS”, HOPING TO SOMEWHAT LESSEN THE TORMENT!


CLOAKED MAN:

A NAME OF RESPECT WHICH NO LONGER CARRIES LIGHT. AFTER BETRAYING A BEING WHOSE RACE IS CALLED “KIEROES” FOR HER LIFE- PROLONGING BLOOD.


ZAREAN:

WHAT ARE THESE. . . . “KIEROES?


The cloaked man uses a cane to point to the direction of the drawings and writings on the cave walls that he had made.


CLOAKED MAN:

THEY ARE BEINGS WHICH WERE A CHANGE IN EVENTS. WHERE THE CRAVING FOR MORE LIFE BECAME GREATER FOR MORTALS.


ZAREAN:

HOW SO? (pretending to be respectful) PLEASE, TEACH ME.


CLOAKED MAN:

WITHIN THEIR VEINS IS AN “ALCHEMY” WHICH WILL BE KNOWN AS THE “ELIXIR OF LIFE”. A FLUID WHICH CAN HEAL WOUNDS AND SICKNESS, AS WELL AS PROLONGING LIFE.


Zarean puts her hands on the wall with the writings and drawings.


ZAREAN (thought balloon):

THIS COULD PERHAPS BE THE CURE FOR THIS DREADED VAMPIRISM THAT HAUNTS ME! BRINGING ME BACK TO LIFE, SO TO FINALLY ACHIEVE ULTIMATE POWER! (speech): WHERE WOULD ONE HAVE TO GO TO FIND SUCH UNIQUE BEINGS?


CLOAKED MAN:

BEWARE, TORMENTED SOUL. THIS IS LIFE WHICH WILL NEVER BE DENIED. ONE TASTE, AND IT WILL BRING LIFE BACK TO YOUR FORM, . . . BUT LIKE ALL “ONCE LIVING” HEARTS, YOUR’S ALSO WON’T BE ABLE TO TOLERATE THE SPARK.


ZAREAN (enraged):

TELL ME!


CLOAKED MAN:

FOR NOW. . . . THERE IS NONE ON THIS WORLD, BUT THERE WILL SOON BE TWO. ALTHOUGH THEY ARE NOT YET BORN, THEY WILL ARRIVE WHEN MEN WEAR METAL AS A SECOND SKIN.


The cloaked man raises his head to look at Zarean. His face is revealed.


CLOAKED MAN:

I KNOW WHY YOU ASK SUCH QUESTIONS, WHICH WOULD NORMALLY CONFUSE OTHERS. ALTHOUGH THE POWER YOU SEEK HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE ALMOST UNLIMITED, THE CONTROL OF IT CAN BE QUITE THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU DESIRE. . . .YOUR EXECUTIONER WILL BE THY SELF.


ZAREAN (acting savage):

THAT MAY BE SO, BUT YOUR EXECUTIONER IS HERE NOW!


The cloaked man does not react.


CLOAKED MAN:

IRONICALLY, I KNEW OF THIS NIGHT. . . .AND I AM GLAD OF THE LONG AWAITED RELEASE.


Zarean’s shadow covers him and the shadow transforms into the shadows in the warehouse office room of the “present”. The sitting Zarean looks at the desk. The desk where the jar filled with the glowing blue alchemy fluid is.


(NEW SCENE, JAKE AND BOB) The mystical mercenaries have arrived in New York. Bob stops the bike and looks around.


BOB:

THIS DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A SWAMP!


Jake gets up and taps Bob on the shoulder. Bob turns around and gets slapped by Jake. Jake drops to his seat and puts his hand on his face.


JAKE (thought balloon):

DING-DONGER. (speaks): LET'S RIDE AROUND. MAYBE WE’LL FIND SOMEONE TO GIVE US DIRECTIONS.


They ride away. A female vampire scout has been watching them. She leaps off the building that she was on and lands on the ground with ease to see where the kieroes are heading.


VAMPIRE SCOUT (telepathy):

MISTRESS! THEY'RE HERE!

The vampire scout transforms into a woman-bat hybrid looking creature and flies back to her mistress. Jake and Bob look around while riding on the bike. Suddenly! Ultimate Mayhem appears in the trailer that he “borrowed”!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

YOU’RE MINE! ALL MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!!!


He pushes the pedal to the metal and gets right next to them.


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (loud):

HI!. . . . MISSED ME!


JAKE AND BOB (loud, shocked):

MAYHEM!!!


Bob makes the bike go faster!


BOB (loud):

WE'RE SCREWED. MAN!!!


(END OF ISSUE #3)

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(GO DOWN TO ISSUE #4)

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(ISSUE #4)


It begins on the streets of Manhattan. At first, it is quiet. But then Jake and Bob appear on their bike at full throttle! Ultimate Mayhem is not far behind. Jake is shooting at Mayhem with his mystical photon gun. He does some damage to the trailer, but does not stop it. Mayhem returns fire with his red energy balls. Bob skillfully dodges them, but it is difficult when he also has to dodge the debris on the road!

BOB:

WE'RE DEAD, MAN! DEAD!


JAKE: (still shooting at Mayhem):

STOP BRINGING ME DOWN, MAN!


Mayhem catches up and hit the back of the bike! Jake is about to fall off from the cart, but Bob grabs his arm!


JAKE (loud):

NNNAAAAAAGH!!


They pass by a electronic camara, which looks like the one that was spying on Zarean.


(NEW SCENE, UNDERGROUND) A computer monitor is shown and is showing what the telescope is “seeing”. A lady is watching this and when she gets up. She is wearing a black military uniform. She leaves the room and enters the hallway, which looks like a part of the sewer. She passes by a flag which is hung on the wall. On it is a fist and three words, “S.N.K”(supernatural killers). She comes towards a door and knocks on it.


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (not shown):

COME IN.


She enters General Frank Strann's room, which is dark. The overweight man is sitting behind the desk.


GENERAL FRANK STRANN:

ANYTHING TO REPORT, LIEUTENANT SANDRA?


LIEUTENANT SANDRA:

YES, SIR. THE TWO, WHICH OUR WATCHER HAS BEEN FOLLOWING, HAVE BEEN SPOTTED HERE IN NEW YORK.


GENERAL FRANK STRANN:

EXCELLENT. CALL UP ALL AVAILABLE TROOPS AND TELL THEM TO BE READY WHEN THE ORDER IS GIVEN.




LIEUTENANT SANDRA:

I'M AFRAID THEY'RE NOT ALONE, SIR. OUR SCANNER HAS ALSO PICKED UP AN ANOMALY WHICH ISN'T IN OUR RECORDS AND HAS AN INCREDIBLE ENERGY READING. THERE'S ALSO THE FACT THAT THEY'RE IN A HIGHLY POPULATED AREA, SIR.


GENERAL FRANK STRANN:

SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE, LIEUTENANT. EVEN BY THOSE WHO BELIEVE IT'S WRONG, OR INSANE, ON WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING. SADLY, THEIR DENIAL ON WHAT'S GOING ON WILL NOT LET THEM ESCAPE FROM THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES ON EXTERMINATING THESE ABOMINATIONS. BECAUSE AS HUMAN BEINGS, THEY ARE "AUTOMATICALLY" MEMBERS OF THE S.N.K. (Strann looks at Sandra with a serious look) WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT.


Lieutenant Sandra looks a Strann and thinks that it may be possible that he has lost it.


LIEUTENANT SANDRA (concern, thought balloon):

MY GOD! HE DOESN'T SEEM TO CARE ABOUT THE CASUALTY RATE THIS WILL CAUSE IF WE ATTACK NOW!


GENERAL FRANK STRANN:

HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU HOW I GOT THESE SCARS THAT COVER HALF MY FACE? IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU AND THE OTHERS HAVE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT IT FOR SOME TIME NOW. HOW COULD YOU NOT? . . . . IT STARTED 22 YEARS AGO, A TIME WHERE EVEN I WASN'T A BELIEVER, I WAS A YOUNG PRIVATE IN THE ARMY WHO WAS ON A MISSION IN VIETNAM. WE THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO FACE YOUR TYPICAL DRUG SMUGGLERS, BECAUSE NOTHING YET TOLD US OTHERWISE. JUST AN ILLEGAL DRUG MANUFACTURING BUILDING WITH PEOPLE, WHO HAD, FINANCIALLY WISE, NO CHOICE, BUT TO WORK FOR THE CRIMINAL BASTARDS. WE IMMEDIATELY BARGED RIGHT IN. THINKING THAT OUR AUTHORITY AND GUNS WERE ENOUGH TO HANDLE WHATEVER CAME OUR WAY.


General Frank Strann is quiet for a moment and it tells Sandra that he's about to tell her something horrible.











GENERAL FRANK STRANN:

OUT FROM NOWHERE, CREATURES OF GREAT STRENGTH AND SPEED CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND STARTED TO SLAUGHTER US LIKE WE WERE NOTHING TO THEM. (Strann makes a fist with his right hand) BULLETS PENETRATED THEIR BODIES, BUT DIDN'T SLOW THEM DOWN. THE ONES THEY ALLOWED TO LIVE, AND I WAS ONE OF THEM, WERE TORTURED TO DEATH. KILLED IN A SLOW AND PAINFUL WAY FOR AMUSEMENT. IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE BOMBINGS FROM THE COPTERS, WHICH SCARED THOSE MONSTERS AWAY, I WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE SQUAD. WHEN I TOLD THEM WHAT HAPPENED, THEY THOUGHT I WAS HALLUCINATING FROM THE HORROR I WENT THROUGH, BUT IT WAS REAL. THEY WERE REAL. THIS IS WHY WE MUST GO TO THE EXTREME TO TAKE OUT THEIR KIND. TO PURIFY GOD'S EARTH OF THEIR CORRUPTION. EVEN IF SOME OF THOSE FOOLS, WHO KNOW OF THEIR EXISTENCE, THINK THERE'S SUCH A THING AS SOME OF THEM NOT BEING "EVIL!" . . . . DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING, LIEUTENANT?


LIEUTENANT SANDRA:

I. . . . I BELIEVE SO, SIR.


Lieutenant Sandra leaves the room. Strann touches ruined part of his face and a tear falls from his eye.


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (low tone, mentally disturbed):

BURN THEM. . . . LIKE THEY BURNED US.


Next to General Frank Strann is a mental image of demons using hellfire to burn him.


(ELSEWHERE IN THE UNDERGROUND BASE.) Soldiers are getting prepared for the coming battle. They put on the battle armor and guns that are handed to them by personals that are responsible for weaponry storage.

ONE OF THE SOLDIERS(loud, not shown):

MOVE IT! MOVE IT!


(NEW SCENE, UP TOP) An empty gas station is shown. It’s garage door starts to open. Out comes a well-armed tank with the “S.N.K” symbol. It heads towards the battle. A large group of soldiers follows it by using "repainted" army trucks that come from the other empty buildings near by.


SARGENT (loud):

MOVE THEM OUT!




(CHASE SCENE) Ultimate Mayhem is still chasing Jake and Bob! He fires another energy ball, but misses again! The energy ball hits the window of a clothing store with manikins for show! The store explodes! Bob makes the bike jump over a car, which Mayham trashes with the trailer after the jump!


JAKE (angry):

EAT IT! (fires!) EAT IT! (fires!) EAT IT! (fires!)


(ELSEWHERE IN NEW YORK) The commotion that the S.N.K. troops have been causing, has attracted the police authorities! Several squad cars appear in front of the S.N.K. troops and quickly they get out of their cars with their guns out!


COP #1 (loud):

ALRIGHT, SOLDIER BOYS! LAY DOWN YOUR ARMS AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP! WORLD WAR "3" JUST ENDED FOR YOU BOZOS!


Suddenly, a group of S.N.K. troops come out of nowhere and aim their guns at the police officers! Knowing that they're at a great disadvantage, the police officers put down their guns on the street and raise their arms up. One of the troops, who's in charge, walks towards the police officers.


SOLDIER IN COMMAND:

BY THE AUTHORITY OF THE S.N.K. WE ARE PLACING THIS CITY UNDER MARTIAL LAW.


COP #1 (angry):

S.N.K.?! I'VE HEARD OF YOU! AND I KNOW THAT YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO PUT A "BROOM CLOSET" UNDER MARTIAL LAW!


SOLDIER IN COMMAND:

WE HAVE THE AUTHORITY OF RIGHTEOUSNESS! AS OFFICIALS WHO HAS SWORN TO "SERVE AND PROTECT". YOU SHOULD BE JOINING US, INSTEAD OF GETTING IN THE WAY OF OUR GOOD WORK!


COP #1 (angry):

KISS MY #%#, YA #@$&$# FANATICS!


SOLDIER IN COMMAND:

IT'S YOUR CHOICE. THOUGH IT MAKES ME DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED IN THE LAW ENFORCEMENT OF THIS GREAT CITY.


COP #1 (angry):

AGAIN, KISS MY #%#!


The S.N.K. troops put handcuffs on the police officers' wrists and start taking them somewhere to be locked up.


COP #2:

THESE GUYS ARE NUTS!


Cop #1 quietly agrees with cop #2.


COP #1 (low tone):

ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE!


Other S.N.K. troops take over the unexpected police precincts. They lock up the police officers in their building's own cells that already have people who have broken the law.


CROOK:

HEY! I'LL JOIN YOUR LITTLE GROUP! WHERE DO I SIGN IN?


The soldier that he's talking to hits the cage with his rifle to get the crook back!


SOLDIER:

WE DON'T ALLOW LAW-BREAKERS IN OUR ORGANIZATION.


CROOK:

FROM WHERE I'M STANDING, YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY THE MODEL OF A LAW-ABIDING CITIZEN!


The crook and the rest of the ones who were arrested for some crime laugh in a mocking way!


(ELSEWHERE IN NEW YORK) Breaking news is about to be broadcast on television. It will interrupt a show already being shown, because it's urgent!


NEWS CASTING LADY:

WE'VE JUST RECEIVED NEWS THAT NEW YORK IS BEING TAKEN OVER BY AN UNKNOWN GROUP. . . .! (surprised to see S.N.K. troops enter the stage room) HEY! WHAT IS THIS?!


Some of the S.N.K. troops aim their guns at the news casting lady! The others are forcing the other workers there to an area that will allow the troops to control the situation!


ONE OF THE TROOPS (loud, pointing his gun):

YOU! OVER THERE! NOW!


THE PRODUCER (angry, slightly resisting):

WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?!


ONE OF THE TROOPS (hits the producer with his rifle):

SHUT UP!


The S.N.K troops have now taken down most of the law-enforcers and some type of ways to communicate to the outside of the city! Now, they're in the process of turning off the power of the city to give them time and advantage of fulfilling their mission! People, in their houses, buildings of business, or outside, notices that the blackout seems to be everywhere!


(AT GENERAL FRANK STRANN'S OFFICE) A soldier knocks at the general's door.


GENERAL FRANK STRANN:

ENTER.


SOLDIER:

SIR. WE HAVE THE CITY UNDER S.N.K. CONTROL.


GENERAL FRANK STRANN:

GOOD. RADIO THE MEN TO COMMENCE "OPERATION: SLAUGHTERHOUSE", AND REMIND THEM THAT WE'RE IN A TIGHT SCHEDULE. WE CAN'T MAINTAIN CONTROL OF THIS CITY FOR NO LONGER THEN AN HOUR OR TWO. AFTER THAT, THEY NEED TO DISAPPEAR TO ONE OF OUR SET-UP HIDEOUTS, WHICH ARE IN THE LESS POPULATED AREAS. THEN WE'LL ESCAPE THE CITY THROUGH THE SEWERS WITH ONLY THE TYPE OF EQUIPMENT THAT WE CAN TRANSFER IN A SHORT TIME.


SOLDIER:

YES, SIR.


The soldier leaves the office and the general looks like he's thinking about something.


(SOMEWHERE ELSE IN NEW YORK) Bob brings up the speed! Jake looks back at the chasing Ultimate Mayhem!


JAKE:

I THINK WE CAN TAKE HIM!


BOB:

SAY WHAT?!


JAKE:

I THINK WE CAN TAKE HIM! REALLY!


BOB:

FINE! I'LL PULL OVER AND LEAVE YOU HERE, WHILE I HEAD FOR JAPAN! BY NOW, THEY SHOULD KNOW HOW TO HANDLE MASSIVELY POWERFUL BEINGS OF DESTRUCTION THAT CAN TEAR DOWN A WHOLE CITY!



JAKE (low tone)

THOSE ARE ONLY MOVIES, BOB.


BOB:

CRAP!!


Before Jake and Bob reaches the end of the block! A group S.N.K troops and the tank appears in front of them! The tank aims and fires at Jake and Bob! It misses, and fires again! again it misses!


BOB (loud):

$#%#!!


Bob’s kieroe reflexes kicks in and he quickly turns! The troops are firing at them! The tank’s cannon slowly moves to the direction where Jake and Bob are! Suddenly!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (loud):

$#%#!!


Mayhems trailer crashes into the tank which causes a big explosion! Jake looks back!


JAKE (sneaky face, loud):

BA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! SUCKERS! (Jake looks at Bob, serious face, low tone): MOVE IT!


Jake and Bob ride away!


(UNDERGROUND “S.N.K” BASE) General Frank Strann has been watching the whole thing on his personal monitor. He is so angered, that he throws the monitor to a wall! He grabs a microphone which is his means of communication to the troops outside!


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (angry, loud):

GET THEM YOU FOOLS!!. . . .OR I’LL HAVE YOU ALL SHOT!!


(OUTSIDE, WHERE THE TANK IS.) Some of the troops are killed or injured. The slightly damaged tank starts to move and heads toward the direction where Jake and Bob headed. Suddenly! Ultimate Mayhem comes up from the wreck and grabs the tank with his left hand!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (angry):

WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING?!


Ultimate Mayhem lifts and throws the tank as if it was nothing! The troops look up and are extremely amazed on how far the tank is going! Ultimate Mayhem turns his attention to the troops!



ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

YOU’RE NEXT!


ONE OF THE SOLDIERS:

TAKE HIM DOWN!!!


The soldiers start to fire at Ultimate Mayhem, but the bullets have no effect! Ultimate Mayhem backs up his head, then quickly forward! So to use the piece of the axe which is attached to his helmet to slice a troop in half! The other troops start firing at Mayhem, but has no effect! Mayhem starts killing the troops!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (excitement, loud)

YEAH!


(THE WAREHOUSE WHERE THE VAMPIRES ARE.) Fang is with Zarean in the office room.


ZAREAN:

I SENSE THAT THEY ARE COMING CLOSER! TELL THE OTHERS TO PREPARE FOR THEIR ARRIVAL!


FANG:

WHAT ABOUT THESE SOLDIERS THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE?


ZAREAN:

THAT. . . ."THING" IS TAKING CARE OF THEM! (Zarean looks at Fang.) NOW GO!


Fang leaves the room.


(THE HALLWAY OF THE “S.N.K” UNDERGROUND BASE.) General Frank Strann is hearing bad reports about the situation from the radio and is sweating like crazy! He starts running out of his office and has a weapon in hand! He meets up with Lieutenant Sandra!


LIEUTENANT SANDRA:

SIR! REPORTS ON THE BATTLE JUST. . . .!


General Frank Strann pushes her aside!


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (loud, insane, hatred):

GET OUT OF MY WAY! I MUST KILL THEM! (louder) KILL THEM ALL!!


Lieutenant Sandra is on the floor and is shocked! She knew the general was a little unstable, but now he is completely out of control! The crazed General Frank Strann keeps running until he meets with the watcher assigned to watch the kieroes.



WATCHER

REPORTING AS ORDERED, SIR.


The general looks at him for a moment and starts to look angry towards the watcher.


WATCHER (confused)

SIR?


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (angry and crazy)

WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE THOSE FREAKS DOWN WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE?


WATCHER (confused)

TAKE THEM DOWN? BUT YOU ORDERED ME TO ONLY OBSERVE THEM. NO ACTION.


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (angry and crazy)

SHUT UP, COWARD! BY REFUSING TO DO YOUR DUTY AS A HUMAN BEING, YOU HAVE BETRAYED YOU KIND AND MUST BE PUNISHED THROUGH EXTREME MEASURES!


The crazed general aims his pistol!


WATCHER (scared)

PLEASE, GENERAL STRANN!!! THIS IS ALL OF A MISTAKE!!!


(WHERE LIEUTENANT SANDRA IS.) Lieutenant Sandra is still on the floor and she hears a gun shot!


(WHERE JAKE AND BOB ARE.) Jake and Bob are still moving away at top speed! They are in a neighborhood where there are some people around! They are running in panic!


BOB (worried):

HOW CAN THIS BE, MAN?! WE KILLED MAYHEM! HELL!. . . . WE BLEW HIM TO PIECES!!


JAKE:

SHUT UP AND MOVE, DING-DONGER! THE FARTHER WE’RE AWAY FROM HIM, . . . THE BETTER!


BOB:

WHAT HAPPEN TO "MISTER I CAN TAKE HIM"?






JAKE:

I CHANGED MY MIND! (low tone) I DO THAT SOMETIMES. (normal tone) BUT DON'T WORRY, MAN! (Jake is smirking and has one of his fist next to his face.) HAVE A PLAN!


BOB:

YEAH, WHAT'S THIS GREAT PLAN OF YOURS?


JAKE (worried):

UH! AS I SAID, DON'T WORRY I HAVE A PLAN OR I WILL HAVE ONE!. . . .SOON! (sneaky face)


BOB (worried):

$#*#!


Looking down on them on top of one of the building is a soldier with binoculars and a hand radio. He signals the others to action.


SOLDIER ON THE ROOF:

THE TARGETS ARE COMING YOUR WAY! REPEAT! THE TARGETS ARE COMING YOUR WAY!


Three of the soldiers there pour oil on the road, then disappears. Jake and Bob ride over and at first everything is going right, but suddenly Bob loses control of the bike! They spin out of control and crashes into a pile of garbage! Jake has a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket on his head, which is blocking his vision! Jake looks left and right!

JAKE

WHO THE HELL TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS?!


Jake quickly realizes that something is on his head and removes it! Bob gets out of the pile of garbage that he fell into to! Bob notice something and points at it! Jake notices what Bob is doing and then looks at the direction that Bob is pointing at! Jake's three eyes are now wide open! A soldier with a missile launcher is aiming at them!


SOLDIER WITH MISSILE LAUNCHER:

SUCK ON THIS, HELL-FREAKS!


The soldier fires the missile and Jake and Bob, with their kieroe abilities, climb up the building next to them by leaping and grabbing anything about the building that they can get a hold of at inhuman speed!


BOB (loud):

CLIMB LIKE A MONKEY, MAN!! CLIMB LIKE A MONKEY!!




Without the soldier realizing that he's too close, he gets engulfed by the explosion! Also, thanks to the oil on the road, the fire spreads and causes more damage! On the edge of the top of the building, Jake's hand is shown taking a hold! The two determine kieroes make it to the top and start running to the other end of the building! They then leap to the roof of a nearby building and keep repeating the process! A armed helicopter appears and starts shooting at the running kieroes! Jake and Bob push themselves hard to reach for cover and find it behind a huge chimney. Sadly, this will only protect them for a few minutes, thanks to what the armed helicopter is carrying! Jake is about to get his mystical photon gun! He realizes that it's not in the holder and starts to search himself as if he's looking for his house keys!


JAKE (loud)

MY GUN! IT'S GONE! DAMN IT! I MUST'VE DROPPED IT WHEN WE CRASHED! THIS SUCKS!!!


The chimney's ability to protect the two kieroes becomes less and less! The bullets from the helicopter's gun takes down each piece of it at a very quick rate!


BOB (loud)

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE NOTHING BUT PEBBLES TO SHIELD US IN A MINUTE! I HOPE YOU HAVE ANOTHER "INGENIOUS" PLAN, JAKE!


Jake knew that Bob meant to insult him! The angry Jake grabs for a brick that was part of the chimney and is about to throw it at the helicopter!


JAKE (angry, low tone)

AH, @#$%!


Thanks to Jake's kieroe strength and perfect aim, the brick goes through the glass and hits the pilot in the head! The helicopter goes down and crashes! The two kieroes then jump for the roof of the next building!


JAKE (tick off at Bob)

IS THAT "INGENIOUS" ENOUGH FOR YA!? (low tone) YA STUPID MEAT-BALL LOOKING JERK!


After a few building roofs, Jake and Bob stop to catch their breath.


BOB (breathing heard)

GREAT! ULTIMATE MAYHEM AND "G.I.JOE" ARE AFTER OUR TAILED BUTTS! WHO DID YOU $#$$ OFF THIS TIME, JAKE?


JAKE (looks irritated and in disbelief)

ME?! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME WHEN THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPENS?


Bob takes out a book from his backpack and opens it.



BOB (reads the book)

LET'S SEE. THERE WAS THE TIME IN LAS VEGAS, WHERE YOU GOT AN OWNER OF A GAMBLING PLACE ANGRY AND THAT ENDED WITH A GUN FIGHT. THEN THERE WAS THE TIME IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE, WHERE THE EMPEROR OF "ALANTIS" HAD US SENT TO THE DUNGEONS, BECAUSE SOMEONE…


JAKE (slightly irritated and surprised)

YOU… WROTE THEM… DOWN? BOB, WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WHEN THE REST OF US WERE HAVING A LIFE?


Suddenly, and explosion is heard inside the building that the two kieroes are on! The kieroes look down!


JAKE

WHAT THE HELL…?


The roof of the building suddenly collapses and Jake and Bob fall into the slightly destroyed building! They stop falling until they hit the bottom floor, because of the type of damages that the explosion has made! Jake and Bob are unconscious and are somewhat covered with pieces of the building! Shadows of people appear!


ONE OF THE "PEOPLE"

NOW, WE SHALL TAKE THESE CREATURES TO THE MISTRESS.


(END OF ISSUE #4)

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(ISSUE #5)


The “S.N.K” troops are running for their lives from Ultimate Mayhem! General Frank Strann who is hidden in a alley, watches the troops!


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (angry):

COWARDS!


(NEW SCENE) In the warehouse where the vampires are staying. The “mayhem” which Ultimate Mayhem is causing is heard. A shadow of two figures hanging on a chain is shown. The two figures hanging and tied up on the chain is Jake and Bob. Fang and a group of vampires appear, then Zarean appears with the jar filled the glowing blue fluid. Bob awakens and sees the situation. Jake now wakes up.


JAKE (drowsy):

WHA?. . . .WHAT’S GOING ON?


BOB:

NOTHING.. . . .EXCEPT THAT WE’RE TOTALLY “SCREWED”. GO BACK TO SLEEP.


Zarean waves her hand and red energy comes out! This energy grabs Jake and breaks the chains to do it, but reseals them after Jake is out! She puts him on the floor “hard”! She creates bindings to hold him down!


JAKE:

WHAT THE HELL. . . . ?!


ZAREAN:

THE LONG WAIT ENDS NOW! THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, I WAS CLOSE, SO CLOSE TO THE ULTIMATE POWER, BUT THAT OPPORTUNITY WAS STOLEN FROM ME WHEN I WAS ATTACK BY A VAMPIRE! I DID HAVE MY REVENGE ON THAT FIEND A LONG TIME AGO, BUT BEING A VAMPIRE MEANT THAT I HAD NO LIFE FORCE! THE ONE THING I NEEDED TO FOCUS THIS IMMENSE POWER THROUGH ME! NOW, WITH THIS STRANGE CREATURE'S BLOOD, AND THIS POTION, I WILL ONCE MORE HAVE LIFE IN THESE CHEEKS AND HAVE THE POWER TO CONTROL ALL!


She gets on her knees and crawls towards Jake! Jake tries his best to break free!


JAKE:

GREAT!… IT’S MY DREAM COME TRUE… AND IT'S GONE ALL WRONG!




Zarean brings forth a knife and cuts Jake to let blood out! A blood which is a glowing green! Zarean opens the jar and drinks the blue glowing fluid! She then starts to suck in Jake’s blood into her! Jake’s blood goes from wound to Zarean’s mouth! Jake is in great pain!


BOB (loud):

JAKE!!


Bob tries to break free! Zarean is starting to glow with energy! She becomes too bright for her minions to look at! Zarean brings her head up and smiles!


ZAREAN:

YES! THE POTION IS WORKING! INSTEAD OF THE ELIXIR BLOOD KILLING ME, IT’S MAKING ME ALIVE!


(NEW SCENE) Ultimate Mayhem is about to drop a building on the remaining troops! Like a tree being chopped down, the building falls onto the troops!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

THE SKY IS FALLING, BABY!


Mayhem turns around.


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

NOW TO FIND THOSE TWO LITTLE BOOGERS AND RIP THEM APART PIECE BY SLOW AND PAINFUL PIECE!


(BACK TO THE WAREHOUSE.) While Zarean still feeds on Jake’s blood, General Frank Strann is watching! Hidden from everyone’s sight he prepares to do something crazy!


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (crazy, whisper):

KILL THEM ALL!


Suddenly! General Frank Strann comes out of his hiding place and starts to fire his weapon! He hits some of the vampires and Zarean, which breaks the blood-sucking!


ZAREAN (thought balloon):

NO!!! NOT WHEN I WAS SO CLOSE!


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (crazy, loud):

DIE! (louder). . . .DIE! (louder). . . .DIE!!






One of the bullets hits the chain that is holding Bob up! He falls on one of the vampires! He quickly gets up and freed from the now loose chains! Bob grabs into his backpack and gets out a staff that is sparking with electricity! He hits the vampire that he fell on in the head! The vampire’s head explodes! Bob runs towards Jake, but has to fight through a group of vampires, which takes a moment, thanks to his staff, kieroe strength, and agility! He grabs Jake and runs off!


BOB:

DON'T WORRY, JAKE! I GOTCHA!


JAKE (drowsy):

BOB? DID I DRINK TOO MUCH AT ERIC'S AGAIN?. . . . AND WAS SHE CUTE?


The wound that Zarean made on Jake heals! Bob does an incredible leap and lands on one of the big crates, then disappears! Zarean is extremely angry that her wondrous feast was interrupted!


ZAREAN (angry, hungry):

BRING THEM BACK BEFORE THE POTION WEARS OFF!! THE POWER MUST BE MINE!! SLAUGHTER ANYONE THAT GETS IN YOUR WAY!!


Bob is still running at kieroe speed and still carrying Jake over his shoulder!


BOB (irritated):

WHAT A BITCH!


Back where Zarean is!


ZAREAN:

AS FOR YOU, MORTAL!


General Frank Strann is gone! The vampire minions are after Jake and Bob in a maze of crates! Like a pack of hunters! They split up and two of them head to an area where a bunch of mines are laid! They blow up in pieces! Bob sees the results!


BOB:

YES!


Suddenly, Bob hears the sound of a motor! The motor belongs to a motorcycle, which a vampire dressed like a biker is riding! The vampire biker is wearing shades, but their low enough to show his hungry eyes! The screech of the back tire is heard and the vampire biker heads toward Jake and Bob at top speed!


VAMPIRE BIKER:

HSSSSSSSSSSSS!


Bob quickly puts down Jake and takes out a “ramp” form his backpack before the vampire biker can react!


VAMPIRE BIKER (loud):

NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!


The vampire biker flies off towards a window! (Outside, Ultimate Mayhem Who is bringing down buildings. Human screams are heard.)


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (not shown, loud):

EXCUSE ME!!


He sees the vampire biker going through the window and falling to the ground with his bike!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (thought balloon):

WHA? (interested) HMMMMMM.


The dazed vampire biker tries to get up, but stops when he sees the huge shadow on him! He turns his head to look and sees Ultimate Mayhem!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

HI. . . .NICE NIGHT, HUH? I TAKE IT THAT IN THERE ARE TWO LITTLE GUYS WHO IS THE KIND YOU DON'T USUALLY SEE AROUND HERE IN THESE PARTS, RIGHT?


VAMPIRE BIKER:

WHA. . . .?!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

THOUGHT SO!


Ultimate Mayhem stomps the vampire biker with his foot, which kills him! Inside the warehouse, Bob looks around and notices that Jake is recovering!


JAKE (drowsy, very angry):

WHERE IS THAT NIGHT STALKING “BITCH”?!


BOB:

SHHHHH! YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW WHERE WE ARE?!


JAKE (very angry, immature):

I’M TOO @#$$ED OFF TO BE QUIET!


BOB (angry):

GEEZ, JAKE! YOU'RE NUTS IF YOU'RE WANTING TO HANG AROUND HERE AND MESS WITH THAT CRAZY LADY! "SPECIALLY" WITH MAYHEM AROUND!


JAKE (irritated):

DID YOU JUST CALL ME NUTS?


BOB (angry):

YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING HEADSTRONG WITHOUT THINKING, MAN, AND. . . .!


JAKE (irritated):

I ASKED YOU A QUESTION? DID YOU CALL ME NUTS?


BOB (angry):

YEAH! (Bob points his finger on Jake's chest!) I. . . . CALLED. . . . YOU. . . . NUTS! NUTS! NUTS!! NUTS!!!


Jake and Bob bring up their fists!


JAKE (angry):

I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD, THAT IT'LL END UP BEING PERMANENTLY HIGHER THEN YOUR HEAD!


Suddenly, Jake stops as his ears go slightly up as if he hears something! It's Fang, the one who suckered Bob into buying that phony map. She knows that the kieroes came this way and hopes to sneak up to them, so to take them down and bring them back to her mistress. She sees only Jake. She studies Jake and is not impressed.


FANG (thought balloon)

HMP! HOW TOUGH CAN THAT LITTLE TROLL BE?


She about to attack until something pushes her from behind! She fall to the ground! When she looks up, she sees Bob looking down at her!


BOB (angry)

I WANT MY MONEY BACK.


Then she sees Jake appear next to Bob, who is also looking down to her, and has his sneaky face on. She quickly gets up and moves back! Hoping to get away at this disadvantage that she put herself in, but the wall behind her says otherwise! She bumps her head, but only enough to hurt a little! Fang puts one of her hands to the back of her head.


FANG (irritated)

OW! BLOODY HELL THAT HURT!


JAKE (sneaky face)

AW! DID WE GET A BOO-BOO?



BOB (irritated)

I BET I CAN TOP IT.


Jake looks at the angry Bob and seems amused by this, then he looks at Fang!


JAKE (amused)

LADY, DID YOU PULL A FAST ONE ON MY FRIEND HERE? (whisper) NAUGHTY. (normal tone) SO WHY DID YOUR BOSS TRY TO GET REAL "KINKY" WITH ME?


Fang looks scared and knows she's in deep doo-doo!


FANG

YOU LITTLE FREAKS WON'T GET ANYTHING FROM ME! SO DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH ME!


Jake and Bob look at each other and are amused by hearing this.


JAKE

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT… AS LONG AS YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING, WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT WITH YOU.


Jake and Bob start to laugh a little and Fang is worried about it. Bob slaps his fist to his open hand to tell Fang what they're thinking. Fang looks really worried!


JAKE (not shown)

BOB, I THINK I'M STARTING TO GET SOME IDEAS HERE.


Suddenly, Jake and Bob hear a rumble! At one of the warehouse’s brick walls, Ultimate Mayhem smashes through like an unstoppable machine! Fang takes advantage of the distraction and turns into a bat to get away! Ultimate Mayhem stops and raises his head and arms!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (really loud)

BRING ON THE HEAVY METAL!!!


Ultimate Mayhem fires a red energy ball at the crates! When it hits the crates, an inferno is created! The “inferno” spreads around the crates! Most of the remaining vampire minions “minus Fang” see the light, but are confused on what the “source” of the light is! The inferno burns off the flesh from their bones! Jake and Bob sees the inferno and dodges it with their kieroe speed and agility!


JAKE AND BOB (loud)

$#%#!


The kieroes think they're safe, but suddenly, Ultimate Mayhem's "head" goes through the wall that the two are next to! Ultimate Mayhem sees them!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM

PEEK-A-BOO!. . . .I SEE YOU!


Ultimate Mayhem is about to create a red energy ball to destroy Jake and Bob!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

DIE, YA LITTLE FARTS!!!


Zarean appears out of nowhere and slightly slices Mayhem’s back with her “morphed” claws!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (loud):

RAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!


Ultimate Mayhem starts to cough energy, because Zarean startled him before he could shot it out! Kind of like coughing on food.


ZAREAN (angry):

YOU SHALL NOT HAVE THEM!. . . .THEY ARE “MINE”!


Ultimate Mayhem hits Zarean before she can react! The impact throws her towards a fork crane! The fork crane is damaged! The slightly wounded Zarean’s eyes are glowing, because of her anger, she becomes as “ugly” as an angry woman can be!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM:

OOOOO, BABY!


ZAREAN (angry):

BABY THIS!


Jake and Bob are watching the fight!


BOB:

SO, YOU WANT US TO JOIN THE FIGHT?


JAKE:

JEEZ, NO! I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE! AS WELL AS GETTING A NEW IDENTITY AND LOCATION ON THE WAY!


BOB:

THEN JUST CALL ME "FRANK" FOR NOW ON!


Jake and Bob start to run away! Ultimate Mayhem sees them as he fights Zarean! Mayhem throws Zarean way from him and lifts a heavy piece of leftover machinery and throws at Jake and Bob! Jake and Bob notices that it's coming their way!


JAKE (low tone and depressed)

CRAP.


The piece of machinery hits the two kieroes and sends them through a wall, as well as outside and across the street, "as" well as crash through another wall that allows them to enter another building! There are some S.N.K. soldiers nearby who hear the noise! The leader of the group gives them a signal with his hand to tell them to follow him there! To their surprise, Ultimate Mayhem comes out of the building and is heading for the one where the kieroes went!


ONE OF THE SOLDIERS (scared and loud)

$%&#! WHAT IS THAT THING!


THE LEADER OF THE GROUP OF SOLDIERS (really loud)

FIRE! BLOW THAT BIG FREAK FROM EXISTENCE!


With their machine guns, they fire at Ultimate Mayhem, but all their bullets do is bounce off the mighty destroyer's hide! Ultimate Mayhem slightly ignores them, but decides to deal with them by throwing a wrecked car at them, while staying focused on where the kieroes went! The wrecked car hits and kills the soldiers!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (irritated)

THESE "BUCKET-HEADS" ARE EVERYWHERE!


Suddenly, Zarean does an incredible leap from the other building to Ultimate Mayhem's back!


ZAREAN (loud, angry):

I WAITED FAR LONGER THEN A MORTAL CAN LIVE FOR THIS MOMENT AND WON'T ALLOW ANYONE, EVEN YOU, TO GET IN MY WAY!!!


Ultimate Mayhem tries to grab her, but she's hanging on an area of his back that prevents that! Mayhem swings around, so to make her lose grip and fall off! Zarean's morphed "hand" claws penetrate Mayhem's hide!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (angry and in pain):

YOU LITTLE. . . .


(NEW SCENE. THE BUILDING WHERE JAKE AND BOB ARE IN) Inside the building is a wreck, because of the impact! The machinery that mayhem threw is there, but it's covered with debris! Some of the debris start to move slowly until Bob's left hand is revealed! Bob gets out and then reaches in to bring the dazed Jake out! Jake's senses comes back and he sees Ultimate Mayhem and Zarean fighting outside! The angry and quiet Jake starts walking towards them and out of the building through the hole in the wall that was just made!


BOB (worried about Jake and mumbling.)

JAKE, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?


Jake ignores Bob and looks at his two enemies for a moment! He then takes a big breath! He raises his head, closes his eyes, and opens his mouth to give out an inhumanly loud and sounding shout! A shout, which makes Mayhem and Zarean stop fighting!


(NEW SCENE, WHERE THE MYSTICAL PHOTON GUN IS.) The fire there is still blazing! Suddenly, the mystical photon gun levitates out of the flames as if summon to go to it's master! It starts to twirl, then at an incredible speed, it flies off into the direction where Jake is! It passes by some S.N.K troops who are surprised by it and fires at it up in the air!


(A BLOCK CLOSE TO THE BUILDING WHERE JAKE AND THE OTHERS ARE) General Frank Strann just killed a vampire by beheading! He is being watched.


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (crazy):

KILL YOU ALL!


(INSIDE THE OFFICE OF GENERAL FRANK STRANN.) Lieutenant Sandra is watching General Frank Strann.


LIEUTENAT SANDRA (thought balloon):

MY GOD! HE’LL RUIN EVERYTHING WE WORKED SO HARD FOR!


She picks up a gun and leaves the room.


(BACK TO JAKE AND THE OTHERS) Ultimate Mayhem and Zarean are confused on why the angry-looking Jake made that noise! As well as why he brings out his right hand to his right as if he's about to catch something! The two enemies now hear a whirling sound! It's the mystical photon gun heading towards Jake, with one problem! It's going to fast and Jake doesn't seem to notice it! Instead of Jake catching it in a dramatic manner, the gun hits him and has them both flying into another building! Bob looks at Jake's predicament and then looks at Ultimate Mayhem and Zarean!


BOB (pointing at Jake's direction while looking at the two enemies):

YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK THAT WAS PART OF THE PLAN.


Jake's hand is shown from the hole in the wall and takes hold of something to help him get up! Battered, but healing, thanks to his elixir of life blood! Jake gets up and is holding his mystical photon gun like someone who is ready to kick some ass! Two of Zarean's vampire minions appear and are planning to take Jake down! As they run towards him, the unimpressed Jake takes aim with his mystical photon gun at them and has a facial expression that says to the two vampires, "bad mistake"! Jake fires and the two vampires are destroyed! Jake then looks at Ultimate Mayhem and Zarean! Ultimate Mayhem stands his ground with a pose that says, "bring it on"! zarean seems to be a little frighten after she saw Jake destroy two of her minions!




JAKE

BOB, DO YOU REMEMBER HOW WE TOOK DOWN MAYHEM THE LAST TIME?


At first, Bob doesn't remember, but then it hits him!


BOB (smiling and sticking his thumb up to Jake):

OH, YEAH!


Jake takes another shot that hits under the feet of his two enemies! The impact makes Zarean fly off and hit something! She starts to lose consciousness! Ultimate Mayhem is strong enough to endure it and stand his ground! Jake looks at him with a serious look!


JAKE

LET'S DO IT!


At kieroe speed, Jake and Bob run towards Ultimate Mayhem! When they get to him, they start to use their kieroe agility to move around Mayhem who is swinging his fists around!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (loud and angry)

RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!


Suddenly, Bob, with a silver sphere in his hand, gets on top of Mayhem's shoulders! Mayhem knows what is about to happen and that he doesn't have the time to stop it!


ULTIMATE MAYHEM (in despair and loud)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


Bob shoves the silver sphere into the facemask, then gets off Mayhem! He runs away! Mayhem’s inner energy starts to become unstable and he loses control of his body muscle control!


JAKE (sneaky face):

GAS PROBLEM, HUH?


Jake laughs and starts running toward the direction where Bob ran! Ultimate Mayhem starts to glow! Zarean awakens and does not like what she sees!


ZAREAN:

BY THE ETERNAL CRIMSON, NO!


Jake puts the front end of his gun on the floor and gets on it like it was a pogo stick! Bob gets on Jake’s back and hangs on!


BOB:

ARE YOU SURE THIS IS WISE?


JAKE:

ARE YOU SURE THAT WE HAVE THE TIME TO DISCUSS THIS?


Jake fires and the impact propels them in the air! General Frank Strann is about to enter the building! The warehouse explodes into nothingness taking buildings which are nearby!. . . .leaving nothing but a huge crater! Inside the crater, is a giant sphere! The sphere suddenly folds into a “plate which Bob is now carrying! Bob lets go of the plate in pain!


BOB (in pain)

$#%#! THAT’S HOT!


Jake brushes himself off. Suddenly, He hears a click. He looks up and sees an injured General Frank Strann aiming his gun at them!


JAKE:

AND YOU ARE?


GENERAL FRANK STRANN (crazy):

KILL YOU ALL! TAKE YOU ALL TO HELL!!!


General Frank Strann is about to fire, but is stopped by a bullet thru the head! He falls into the crater! Jake and Bob are surprised and look up to see if the killer is within sight! They see Lieutenant Sandra with a pistol! She looks down at them with eyes filled with hatred! Without their notice, a mist leaves the wreckage and heads for an alley! The mist transforms into the beat up Zarean and Fang is there to insist her!


LIEUTENANT SANDRA:

I DIDN’T DO THIS TO SAVE YOU.. . . .THE GENERAL'S INSANITY WAS BECOMING A THREAT TO BOTH THE “S.N.K” ORGANIZATION AND THE HUMAN RACE! NOW I DOUBT I CAN TAKE YOU DOWN WITH THIS PISTOL, BUT NEXT TIME WE MEET,. . . . YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD! EARTH WILL BE CLEAN OF YOUR CORRUPTION!


Jake and Bob walk to the other side of the crater.


JAKE (low tone, talking to Bob):

THAT LADY SHOULD LOOK IN A MIRROR, BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT THE GENERAL WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO'S COO-COO FOR COCOA PUFFS!


Jake and Bob leap out of the crater. Bob puts his fingers in his mouths and whistles. Their motorcycle, which is still in the pile of garbage, begins to start it’s engine and head towards the kieroes. Bob is shocked by the conditions of his bike! He touches it!


BOB (in pain again)

$#%#! THAT'S HOT AS WELL!


Bob gets a hose that comes out of his backpack and water comes out which is used to cool off the bike. They get on, put their helmets on, and ride away. Jake and Lieutenant Sandra connect eyes for a moment. Suddenly, Jake immaturely sticks his tongue out to Lieutenant Sandra like a child, which increases her hatred for them.


JAKE:

LET'S GET BACK TO CHICAGO. I GOT TO EXPLAIN TO SIMON ON HOW THINGS GOT SCREWED UP. THEN WE HAVE TO HEAR AN HOUR LONG LECTURE FROM HIM ABOUT JOB EFFICIENCY.


BOB (low tone)

WELL, THAT SUCK! (normal tone) SAY, I NEVER GOT MY MONEY BACK FROM THAT PUNK ROCKER BLOOD-SUCKER!


Lieutenant Sandra watches them ride away with eyes that are still filled with hate. Suddenly! A ball of red energy comes out of the wreckage in the wreckage and flies up in the air! The shocked Lieutenant Sarah watches it as it disappears!


LIEUTENANT SARAH:

FILTHY ABOMINATIONS!


(NEW SCENE) A living human walks next to a highway. He throws away the cigarette which is now used up. Suddenly, he notices the red energy ball! He doesn’t know what it is, but he does know it’s coming towards him! He makes a run for it, but the energy ball is too fast! It gets closer and closer until. . . .! THE END


(END OF ISSUE #5, END OF STORY.)




BRIAN UHE

101 HANEY LANE

PITTSFIELD, IL 62363

#217-285-4946

vshulman@adams.net